Dark Crimson Rivers
by Black Angel of Destruction
Summary: Changed penname used to be Megami Kinshin. Completed! Reposted! Ryou and Yugi are left out of the group. They result to cutting. Will Yami and Bakura realize what is happening before they actually go through with Suicide?
1. Part 1: Cutting

It's an angst fic. I like to write those. Sad stories always make my day. Okay enough about what makes my day.

**Summary:** Ryou and Yugi are left out of the group. They result to cutting. Will Yami and Bakura realize what is happening before they actually go through with Suicide?

**Warnings:** maybe yaoi or shounen-ai, suicide thoughts, I think that's it.

Dark Crimson Rivers 

Part 1: Cutting

Ryou's POV

It's been one year. 

It takes years for someone to change. 

It takes months for someone to come up with the perfect plan. 

It takes days to for a little project to be finished. 

It takes hours when doctors operate on you. 

It takes minutes to talk. 

And it takes seconds to make a decision that could be the end of you.

I am alone yet again. I wish I wasn't. I stare at the window to see friends and lovers walk pass my house while I just stare wistfully at what I could've had had it not been for my yami. At least when he was actually hitting me I was noticed. But now since he's been on what I would call probation he's been nice and has been avoiding me. Or maybe he wasn't and I was only imagining things? No I'm not. I know that I'm not. 

He hangs out with the gang. Last time he called them a bunch of losers and worthless pieces of trash. He said that the friendship talk was all garbage and that the only one you can trust is yourself. Guess what? He's dating the queen of friendship! Can you believe it? Bakura has a heart! I haven't seen the gang that much. This year. I've avoided them and they probably didn't seem to notice. Not like Bakura did either. No one did. I was alone and I know that I will be forever if I keep this up and I do intend to. 

I think that it's much better to be alone. No one would bother with you and you won't have problems with him or her always telling you what to do sometimes. 

But sometimes I don't like the loneliness and that I was tempted to get attention. But I never go through with it because with the attention comes worry and questions. They would probably ask where I've been and how come they don't seem to notice me around. Well I would yell at their faces when I tell them that it's their fault that I'm like this and that it's their fault that they didn't notice me. They would probably be shocked and started to say a bunch of bullshit that they really don't mean and later on repeat what they've been doing. That is why I stay away and that is why I'm the way I am.

I look at my reflection. I hated it. The dull doe brown eyes that used to have a glint of hope were now replaced with never ending sadness. The complexion pale as a sheet from blood loss that was self-inflicted. I punched the mirror as hard as I could, shattering it but not without hurting myself in the process. My knuckles were bleeding. I didn't really care. I've bleed enough to not really feel anything anymore.

I looked at the scars that shredded and marred my arm. I liked the pain. It made me feel so alive like I was really there and not something that was invisible. I always felt noticed just by cutting myself. And I didn't just do it on my left arm. Soon I started doing it on my other arm, legs, and sometimes on my body. It is…just…I can't really explain it. I feel sorry for the girls that actually do this. They don't have as much room as I do.

My father is rarely home so he doesn't notice anything because he's not here, obviously. And Bakura? I don't really know. I think he just doesn't notice or he does and is just pretending that nothing happened. 

I now stare at my room. It doesn't look like a room no more, it looked more like a tornado hit. Broken pieces of glass fragments are spread all around in case I'm nearer to one and can't reach my main one I could always use the one nearby. Small tiny speck droplets of blood stained the unclean floor. They were mine and mine alone. Bakura never did anything that would make me bleed. 

I wonder if he found out what I was doing, would he tell me to stop, would he actually say sorry? I have always wondered that. But I never think that would happen, you know why? Because he's never going to find out and even if he did he would probably consult with Anzu the friendship queen. 

I'm disgusted with that word. I dislike it very much. I think Anzu has poisoned his mind with her ideals of friendship. HAH! Some friend she is! I'm left here alone because of her. He avoids me because he's afraid to look at me? Is that it? I should just end it now and release this world of another burden. I'm one of many. No one will know why I did it and no one would care. Even if they did my funeral wouldn't be the way I want it. I would be forgotten in less than one second. No one would know it was me that is dead because I'm already forgotten. I'm just a lost soul wondering around because I have no place to go home to. 

Heh, I've told myself that many times and I attempted it but I always wake up to the same world that my soul is lost in. I guess I never cut deep enough to actually go through with it. Maybe I'll die of blood loss instead of attempting suicide. I think cutting my wrist is better. It feels much better. 

I picked up the razor. It was starting to get dull and I think I need to get a new one. Maybe one of those cutting blades at the hardware store or maybe more glass would be better? Nah the ones at the hardware stores are better at least I know that they last longer.

With the razor I made a fresh new cut on my arm. It was over lapping some of the old cuts and a bruise that was still there even if Bakura had stopped. Maybe it's because I'm now the one hurting myself. I never minded that anyways its just gong to be covered up with other cuts in the future.

I see the blood dripping down and licked a bit of it. Blood always tasted good when it's on skin. The metallic taste isn't there yet but it's a bit salty but not too salty. If this was a drink then I would've been addicted to it. It's just like alcohol except much better, it doesn't make you drunk and get hangovers all it does is make you go to sleep or to satisfy your thirst. That is what I do when I can't afford a drink or can't make one. I always make a deep cut but not enough to pass out and start quenching my thirst. Some may think that I'm a vampire if they actually met me right now but I'm not. I don't believe in them they're nothing but legends used to scare people in the past.

The thing about cutting is that the blood clots so that way it won't leak out of the body. I guess it's a good thing it clots otherwise I won't enjoy more of it. I grabbed some tissue and start pressing against my already finished bleeding cut. Then I grabbed some bandages and start to wrap it around my cut. I hate nursing myself. I'll just take it off tomorrow when I wake up. 

I heard the door being opened and closed. That signals Bakura is home. I hear someone else's voice. It was a girl's, and I assume that it's that friendship bitch. I mumbled plenty of curses that I studied in case I need to insult someone enough that they wouldn't understand. And I'll be the one laughing in their faces as they stare in shock and I walk away laughing my head off. It's a fantasy to say that to that friendship bitch's face. She'll probably be preaching about how it's not a good example to show to anyone otherwise you won't make friends. 

Friends, HAH! Who needs them? They'll just stab you in the back when they are done with you and you'll always be a scapegoat so that way you'll get the blame instead of them. Then you'll be stuck with a record and no one would like you anymore. Should I go down there and ruin everything? Nah. Should I go down there and cook? Maybe put poison in their food? Yeah that'll be a good idea! I could put some cleaning product in their food that I volunteered to cook so they could make out and then when they eat they'll start choking and fall over! Yeah! Serves them right for what they've been doing to me. 

No I should just eat something. I mean look at me, I'm skinny and you could see my ribs almost. I'm like a stick. I think cutting slims you down too. Ah the wonders of baggy clothes. Well then that means I have to fatten up so I could cut more and have a reason to. I'll just cook for me not them.

I walk out of my room and down the hall. Anzu passed me and didn't say hi. Bitch. I noticed she was going to the bathroom. Did I clean out my stash of sharp objects and replaced the mirrors?

"BAKURA!" I heard her yell I cringed at her screech. Stupid harpy. That means I didn't. I inwardly smile.

I heard Bakura running up the stairs. He stopped in front of me. "What happened?" he asked worriedly. 

"I don't know. She just called for you." I said before walking past him down to the kitchen. I think I felt him watching me until I disappeared from his view. Did he just notice that it was I?

No he didn't he just thinks I'm an illusion that was just his imagination. Yeah I'm just his imagination. I looked in the fridge to see if there is something to eat. I see nothing but bacon and cake and something that I know isn't there before. Must've been Bakura who cooked for the party they had here last week. I saw everyone making noise while I was trying to sleep. When I went down and saw that everyone was there. The only person I didn't see is Yugi. Where could he be? Come to think of it this whole year he wasn't around them anymore. Did he move? 

I decided not to dwell on that. I need to go grocery shopping at…I glanced at the clock…7 PM. Maybe buy some drugs to go with it? Hmm that doesn't sound too bad. I've abused my body too much what's a little more?

I grabbed some cash I needed to get some food. Maybe I should just do take out. That'll be better food instead of saving it. 

* * *

I woke up to another day that is so fresh and new and will end rotten and old as I play the same routine I do everyday. I went into the bathroom and glanced at the broken mirror. I don't have the money to replace it so I'm not. I was still pissed off at Bakura for confronting me about the broken mirrors. After Anzu left he said stuff to me. I think he said something about paying for the replacements. Why doesn't he do it? He can go get a job easier than I can. Then he can pay for the repairs just let me have the broken glass and it'll be okay. That means more new toys to play with. Yay! 

Today's a school day. Stupid time can't it ever slow down so that way I could sleep more. I'm running out of blood here and it's making me get up a time I don't want to. I don't have as much blood as a regular human does now. 

Never mind. It's not that important. I have to wake up Bakura so he isn't late. I don't mind being late. I don't get detention anyways. I got up off the bed and stood up. I felt a wave of dizziness. I steadied myself and began walking to my dresser. I picked out the dreaded school uniform. I'm beginning to hate uniforms. I quickly washed myself and changed. I then stared at the millennium ring. I don't know if I should wear it. Our mind link isn't that strong any more. I see it almost diminishing even with the ring on. No I shouldn't wear it it's his not mine. I just got it by coincidence. 

I went to wake up Bakura but I found that his bed is empty. Okay so he got up earlier than I did. That's new. Usually I have to. Oh well then less work for me. I closed the door and walked down the stairs into the kitchen to get something to eat. I know that if I don't leave in three minutes I'm going to be late. I have to sprint to school. It's okay the teacher doesn't bust me for being late anyways and no one notices me. 

I saw Bakura already eating. Oh so he didn't leave to get the friendship bitch so they could walk to school together. I don't say anything to him any more unless he asks a question. I felt him stare at me as I walked pass him. I think I just lost my appetite. I'll just drink water then. I poured myself a glass and washed it walking right out. No use staying when he doesn't want to strike up a conversation with me. Maybe I should skip school today. 

Nah, that just piles homework on me. I put my shoes on and walked out. Maybe something interesting will happen today.

* * *

Okay nothing interesting has happened so far. It was almost lunch and the teachers so far are being not that interesting. I'm not paying attention at all. But the one thing is I had Bakura in all my classes today and I always feel him staring at me. I wonder why would he do that now? Did he just realize that our link is starting to diminish? I noticed it since I felt the bliss of self-mutilation. 

I look at the clock to see that it's another half an hour till lunch starts. And Bakura is still glancing at me. Okay I don't mind cutting class a little short. I went up to the teacher's desk with my stuff and asked her if I could go to the nurse's office. I just say I'm not feeling well. She said yes and I walked out. 

Instead of heading to the nurses I headed straight to the bathroom. I was a bit nervous since Bakura kept staring at me. Not exactly staring at me but just sending glances at me that looks like he just realized I'm there. I took out my razor. I bought a new one, yesterday night. I decided to use it yesterday to go to sleep. Now I'll use it for a second time to see if it actually can still cut well. I placed it on my arm where there was an open space for me. I pierced my skin and dragged it in a line. I was satisfied to see the blood leaking out of my cut. 

I sighed and watched as it mixed with the water draining down. 

"Ryou?" 

Shit! I dropped the razor in shock letting it in the sink. I turn around at who called my name. 

It was Yugi. 

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NO FLAMES! I REPEAT, NO FLAMES!


	2. Part 2: Lost

**Response to Reviewers:**

**Lady-Wicca666: To answer your question, the answer is yes. I have. I just reposted it. You can read it again if you like.**

**Black rose of horror: I don't know why I did this fic on cutting. I was just a little bit on the depressing side when I started writing this. **

**KeeperofDestiny****, Yamiyugistalker, maedhros: Thanks for reviewing! ^_^**

Dark Crimson Rivers 

Part 2: Lost

Yugi's POV

It's been a year.

A lot can happen in one year.

It takes hours to do homework.

It takes minutes to talk.

It takes seconds to die.

I don't know how long I could take any more of this. I don't hang out with my friends wait ex-friends actually. They all left me for Yami. The better of us. He's more confidant, good looking, and tougher. I can understand since I'm the little one that is less than him. 

Sometimes I wished I didn't solve the puzzle. Other times I'm glad that I did. Now I regret the whole thing. Every time I'm with my friends they always see Yami not me. Well I don't care anymore. I don't go out with them to wherever they want to go. I just stayed in my room wondering if the life with Yami was better than one without him. I mainly pick the one without. It was much better without any friends anyways. They'll just use you up until they find something new to play with. Like Yami. He's the new one this time. Until they find something new, which I highly doubt, then they'd probably still keep him in their little group. 

They didn't do that with me. 

I was just left in the dust, forgotten. I lost my way walking around this world that I inhabited years ago. 

Would things be different if I didn't solve the puzzle? Yeah it would be just the way it has always been. I'll be ignored, looked down upon, and get beaten on a regular basis. That's looks like a better future than this one. My grandpa at least noticed me. Now he just doesn't. Yami has replaced me in their lives. It's much better anyways. No on would care about me and I won't have problems dealing with them where I won't have to sacrifice my life for them or anyone for that matter. Who cares if the world is hell? This is already hell. I live in hell.

I don't know the difference between dreams and reality anymore. It's all just a blur. 

I stare at a picture that was taken a year ago. Everyone was included. I wasn't taken out of it. I was there. Then I think of what they've done to me this whole year. They started to ignore me after everything I did for them. I guess this is what being back stabbed feels like. 

I gripped it hard and threw it hard across the room shattering the frame and glass. I walked over and picked up the picture that fell out. I took out a match and watched it burn. They say that if you burn your picture your soul will burn too. I hope theirs do. Mine won't because I lost it somewhere. It fell behind in time and I know that I can't travel back because I don't know where I left it. It has probably died off along with me.

I wish I would just hurry up and die.

But I can't. No matter how hard I tried it still didn't work. So I just go harming myself. Usually just pass a bully and then they'll beat me up since no one is there with me or I just cut myself. It's no big really. I covered up the bruises on my face with some of the girls cover up. It works Yami never noticed anything. I began cutting things that I could see whether it'd be sheets, pieces of meat that are rotten, or something. When I ran out of things to cut I started cutting myself and before I knew it I was marked with cuts that I inflicted upon myself. 

Yami never noticed. And he never will because he won't find out. This is my secret, something that I can keep to myself.

I never kept my deck anymore. I got tired of that game. I still don't believe that Kaiba created all that just for some stupid little card game. I don't see anything fun about it. It takes a long time just to duel and everyone takes it seriously like they'll die if they don't win. I mean how lame can that be? Well before we had to play like our life depended on it because of the millennium items. If only those things didn't exist at all my life wouldn't be like this. I would be happy being alone and beat up on a regular basis. I wish that Yami didn't make Ushio go crazy. He was the only one that could hit harder than the ones right now. 

I mostly result to self-mutilation. It's feels better and much more fun. Plus keeping it from Yami makes it funnier. I laugh that he doesn't find out. Every time I feel like it I will always cut myself. Like right now. I want to because I'm looking back at my life to see how crappy it has been. I look at the broken glass shards that I didn't bother to pick up yet. I guess I could use it. I'm right here anyways. 

I place it on an open spot on my arm. There wasn't that much space left but I could always reopen others. I dragged the shard across without hesitation making one clean cut. The blood dripped down. I just stared and watched. No one knows how it feels. The teachers don't know either; they only talk about the bad things about self-mutilation. 

I saw the blood start to clot and stop bleeding. It's good that the blood clots otherwise I won't enjoy it for future use. 

My stomach growled signaling I was really hungry. I needed to get something to eat. I walked downstairs covering my cuts with a long sleeve in case Yami or Grandpa is there. I saw that Grandpa retreated to his room already and Yami was still out. I went home from their outing because I was being left out. Can you believe that Yami invited me to go? Did he just want to torture me or something? I picked the latter. 

Not that I blame him for wanting to do that. Is he still mad that I didn't make him dinner yesterday? Well it serves him right for making me work for him because the good for nothing pharaoh can't cook. He should learn and take a class or something. I don't have an immortal body like his. I have a mortal type of body. I know that I won't last long if I keep cutting myself. But I don't care. If I actually go through with suicide then no one would know why I did it and I'll be forgotten because I'm already forgotten. Yami could care less. Grandpa would just mourn for about five minutes before celebrating that I'm gone from his life. I could just imagine them throwing a party about my death being their national holiday. 

Well if they want to put it that way then I won't die until later where I'm off on my own with no one and I'll die alone like how I am right now. I don't know how long I could last with just cutting myself. 

I looked in the fridge to see that there is nothing for me to eat. I don't want to eat anything because then Yami or Grandpa might say something to me saying that I ate their share of food and then tell me to get my own or a learn how to share lecture. So I guess I'll starve like the last three days. 

I saw Yami enter the house. So they're finally done playing with themselves. Must've been fun. I walked pass him to get take out instead of eating there. I didn't bother saying hi because what's the use when he just responds with a 'hi' back? I already know what he's going to say anyways. I felt him watch me as I leave from his view. What would he be worried about? That I'm going to run into traffic and get ran over by a car? Hah! I wish. 

* * *

It was the next day. School again. It's too early for school to start. But I have to get up. I grabbed my uniform and changed. I brought the spare one in my bag incase it gets ripped again after my before school beatings. I walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I saw that Yami and Grandpa are eating. I didn't want to eat while they are there. I saw that there wasn't a place for me. So I decided to skip breakfast. Grandpa never cooks for me anymore he only cooks for his better grandson. 

I walked out to school waiting for my daily morning beatings. There it is as I was grabbed and thrown against the concrete. No one even bothers helping me but that's okay. I can handle myself. I hear him say stuff to me but I don't really mind. It's the same thing everyday. I have no money he beats me up and I continue on my way to school or hell, as I like to call it.

* * *

It was almost lunch. I didn't want to be here. I wish that the clock would just hurry up. I can see that Yami has been glancing my way often now. Did he just realize that I was here? Well that serves him right. I know that he's starting to sense that our link is nothing but a thin line. With just the right scissor it could be cut and walah! No more link. I don't really care I just wish that he'd stop staring at me. 

I look at the clock to see that it's only twenty-five minutes until lunch. I walk out with my stuff since the teacher said we could leave anytime we wanted to just not during lectures. Since she's not lecturing then I could leave. I headed for the bathroom. I couldn't stand Yami's staring and I wanted to cut myself. He got me in the mood. It was their fault anyways that I'm like this, that I'm suicidal and probably crazy. But I don't care.

I checked my pockets and bag for my razor but didn't find one. I guess I forgot to bring it to school today. Now what am I going to do? I have nothing. I could always break the mirrors and use the shards to cut myself. Yes that's perfect.

I walk in to see Ryou. Okay what's he doing here isn't he suppose to be in class? 

"Ryou?" I call out. I heard something drop in the sink and he turned around in shock. 

I saw what he was doing. I guess I'm not the only one.

"Yugi, please I could explain just don't tell anyone," he said.

Why would I? If he lets me use his razor then I won't. I saw that his arm is covered in cuts. I just smile and I saw him look at me in confusion. I walked over to him and picked up the razor. "I won't. Mind if I join you?" I said exposing my arm that has old and almost new cuts where he could see. He smiled and nodded. I guess I don't have to be alone in this anymore. 

* * *

Ryou's POV

I was a little surprised to see that Yugi does the same thing I do. We skipped the rest of the school day and went to my house since it was most likely not to be anyone there. Yugi had his grandpa in the shop and my dad was somewhere off in some dig trying to avoid me. 

We told each other how we got to do this and I was surprised that we were alike. He likes to cuts himself because he feels like it. I do too. 

"Hey Ryou have anything to eat?" Yugi asked. 

"Yeah sure. C'mon I think there are some leftovers in the fridge." I answered.

"Why thank you," he said sarcastically.

I laughed. "Don't feel that important?"

"Well I never did so why would this be any different?"

"You're right. Let's go get take out then. That is if you pay for yours. I barely have enough for me."

"Yeah I still got it. Surprisingly Jack didn't take all of it this morning."

"Jack?" I asked while grabbing both our coats and handing it to him.

"Jack. Regular bully now since Ushio is somewhere in the mental hospital," he said while I locked the door. Bakura had spare keys and if he forgot his then he can just use his thieving skills. I pocketed the key and we were off to wherever.

We were just talking enjoying each other's company until someone stopped in front of us. I heard Yugi mutter something that sounded like 'Oh no' in annoyance. Why would he be annoyed? I took a look at the person and saw that he matched the description of Jack, as Yugi explained. 

I looked at him questioningly. He shot me a look that said 'tell you later'. Yugi then looked at Jack in a bored manner. Okay this is totally out of character for him. 

"So trying to be tuff huh shorty? Well you didn't pay me this morning now I think I'll collect interest from your friend here," Jack said. Collect interest? Well that is just unfair. I wonder should I scare him off. Yeah I heard about Jack. He's scared when people take out something sharp and point it at him. Might as well. I'm hungry.

I took out my razor and made it known to him. I think I saw panic in his eyes. Heh serves him right for trying to take mine too. 

"I'll take care of you later short stuff. I have better things to do," he said walking away. I was satisfied and then I saw Yugi take out a sharp glass shard and threw it at Jack to see it embed into his right calf. Since when was Yugi that strong? Before I got to ask him he dragged me into a hiding place so that way Jack won't come over because I saw him turn around.

"Phew, that was close. Thanks Ryou."

"Your welcome Yugi."

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	3. Part 3: Dark Secrets

Dark Crimson Rivers  
  
Part 3: Dark Secrets  
  
Ryou's POV  
  
It's been like that for days. Yugi and I would sometimes skip the rest of our afternoon classes and just go home. Whether it'd be his house or mine. I enjoy spending time with him. We're alike and it's sometimes nice to tell someone your secret that they could keep. He told me his and I told him mine.  
  
He really is a good friend.  
  
I've been bugged by Bakura this week. That's a new surprise though. I mean, did he just notice me now? Am I really that invisible that unless I speak up, or something? Do I look see through now?  
  
I don't think there's anything wrong with me. Bakura seems to think so. He's been pestering me about it for the week. I wish he would just mind his own business.  
  
How I change my mind so quickly. First I want him to notice me, now I want him to go away, to stay away. I really should make up my mind. I can't have too many decisions in my head otherwise it'll make me forget things. I hear that thinking too much would make you forget things. I wonder is that true? Yes? No? Maybe so?  
  
Let's not talk about that anymore. I think I'm crowding my head with more garbage. I should erase it, but somehow it always comes back to me at a weird time. If only I was like a computer made hikari. Someone could delete my memories that I've gathered but the downside is that you're controlled. I guess it's great to be a human. But is it great to know what life is really about?  
  
For this whole year since I started I didn't know what life was, really. I always thought whatever the dictionary said. When I was actually paying attention in school the dictionary would always have the meanings of every word made. There were several meanings. They all meant the same thing.  
  
So I was hoping that someone would actually show me the meaning of life. How life is really worth living. If this is it then I don't want mine. I don't like my life. I wish I could take it away. I tried but I was always too scared to do it. I always somehow cling to life. I wish I was like those brave singers or superstars that killed themselves and they were soon noticed. Their movies and CDs sell a lot. I wonder why normal people don't get noticed. I read this story where this person killed herself because she couldn't take life anymore. And when her funeral came no one knew her name. The girls who bullied her drove her to do it. Shouldn't they get arrested for murder?  
  
I didn't know suicide was a powerful thing but when you don't leave a suicide note it's worthless. But I guess it was worth it that she killed herself and no one bothered to help her. I mean, helping someone stay alive, when they don't really want to, is selfish. The people who try to do that are just probably trying to be like a hero and when you attempt it once you can never do it again for some reason. Isn't that really stupid? You can't do anything again when you're stopped?  
  
I lied down on my bed. It was partly stained with some blood but it's already dry. I'll wash it tomorrow when it's daytime. Bakura will be out somewhere with his girlfriend and the rest of the gang. I don't know about Yugi though. Would he like to come over and we could have our daily ritual for cutting ourselves all over? Hmm, that sounds like fun. Yeah that'll be fun I just hope that we wake up before Bakura gets back.  
  
It's a SATURADAY! YAY!  
  
Okay I sound so excited but it's the end of the week and the end of the school year that means for me one more year to go. Isn't everyone excited? I know I am! I don't get to deal with anything anymore. I'll just stay here in this house and just self-mutilate until I run out of blood. But that won't happen because of the food I eat. Should I stop eating? Yeah that'll be good but I don't know I'm always hungry nowadays.  
  
Oh well. Summer break here we go!  
  
I went down to the kitchen. I see that Bakura is already up or not. He must've slept it or left already. The clock said that it was 1 in the afternoon. I finally slept in the time I wanted to get up. No more school for a while. I know that it won't last long but that's okay. Three months seems like a long time but then when you actually have fun three months is a short time. I know that I'll be having fun because I like to do this and no one is going to stop me. Not even Bakura.  
  
Guess what? He broke up with the friendship queen! Isn't that news? Well it was more likely she broke up with him because the house isn't kept clean, it felt dirty to her. I don't think that this house is dirty; I'm the one who cleans it.  
  
Who cares? I sure don't.  
  
I looked in the fridge to eat something but found that I had to cook it myself. I sighed. Now I have to cook. I hate cooking now. I used to like it but I always cooked for everyone. The only person that is here is Bakura so he's not the only one. Every time there's a party the food I cooked that is left over is eaten by the rest of them. Now I cook enough for myself, if they want to eat they should do it themselves.  
  
After I finished cooking I started eating. I didn't cook that much. I heard the front door close. Bakura must be here or he just left. My back was to the kitchen entrance. So I didn't know if he entered for that matter. I heard crashes. Is he mad? I stood up and took a look. It was that bitch.  
  
"Hey what are you doing?!" I said intervening. No one has a right to thrash our things except me of course, and my father.  
  
She stopped what she was doing and looked at me. Then she threw an unbroken lamp towards me. I ducked out of harms way and heard the door shut. By the way how did she get the key to our house? Bakura must've given it to her when they were dating. Did she leave it? I looked around and saw it on the small table where the lamp used to be. She was just returning the favor. But didn't she break up with him? It doesn't matter at least she's gone.  
  
I started picking up the pieces of broken fragments. Looks like I have to go buy new ones. Now if only I could remember where dad said the money was in case something needs to be repaired. I started to place the lampshades on the small tables that they fell from.  
  
I cleaned for about thirty minutes. Bakura soon came in. I didn't pay him any mind. I was concentrated on cleaning. I'll just ignore him like I did for this whole year.  
  
"What happened?" he asked. I might as well answer.  
  
"I don't know. I heard crashes in here and thought that it was you so I didn't pay it any mind." I said. I did know who it was but I didn't want to rat out on that bitch. I felt myself being grabbed roughly and turned to face him.  
  
"You're lying." He plainly said. Is it that obvious?  
  
"No I'm telling you the truth. If I wasn't would I be cleaning it up?" it's a well thought out excuse. Not really I only thought of it in about five seconds. I knew that he was going to say that.  
  
"Tell me who did it."  
  
"I don't know, but I think the message was for you." Would he get the hint? He should it's very obvious.  
  
His grip released from my arm. I started rubbing it because it hurt like a bitch. I think a bruise formed there. I looked at him to see him kick an unbroken lamp that was lying around, into the wall making it break. Okay now I have to clean something extra.  
  
"Hey I have to clean that you know?" I said. Okay I didn't really mean to say it but it just automatically came out.  
  
"Sorry," I heard him say before walking over where the broken pieces were and started picking it up. I looked at him confused. Is he out of character or what? He then started cleaning the rest of the left over mess that I didn't get to yet, which wasn't very much.  
  
Then I remembered that I was still eating. Now I just lost my appetite. I'll have to throw away food. You know I heard one time that throwing food is bad because there is other people out there in the world that needs to eat and throwing food away is like saying you're not being thankful. But I won't eat it tomorrow or later because I only cook for one meal only. I don't like having leftovers.  
  
I saw Bakura come back from throwing the mess away to throw his body on the couch. Did he really like her or something? I wouldn't if I was in his place. I mean, she breaks up with you and then comes over to your house with the spare key and thrashes the living room then just leaves? She's destroying other people's property; they were Dad's lamps. Now I have to go and buy new ones. I have to pay for the ten lamps that were broken, one by Bakura, and the shipping costs. Why couldn't she take it out on her own house?  
  
Never mind. I look around the living room knowing that the extra money was there somewhere. I rummaged under the table in the box and viola! I found it! Now I need to go to a store and replace the ten lamps. I stood up and went to go but Bakura stopped me. "Where are you going?" he asked.  
  
I turn back to face him on his position on the couch. "Oh just to replace those lamps. Dad doesn't want to see them gone. He said to replace them if they break." I said. That's the truth anyways.  
  
"I'll go with you," he said walking out the open door. I stare for a minute then leave after locking it.  
  
Now I didn't expect the cost to be that much. It was a good bargain because I knew how to make them lower it. It was easy. They were going to deliver it tomorrow at ten in the morning.  
  
Currently Bakura and I are just walking down the street. I didn't attempt a conversation with him because I didn't want to. I don't want to talk because I might make something slip past my lips and I would've broken my promise to myself. But it was so boring and I didn't care.  
  
We finally reached home and I was going to go straight to bed. I was sleepy. I then just realized, after seeing the razor untouched on my bedside table, that I never did my daily cut. I looked at the clock to see that it was only 6. It's a little early but I wanted to go to sleep into the world of dreams where I can get lost from reality. Wouldn't that make me get to sleep faster? Yeah it would but if Bakura saw me my secret won't be a secret anymore. I might as well, can't break the tradition that I created myself.  
  
I locked the door before I started. Don't want Bakura to break the tradition now do we?  
  
I got out the razor and pressed the blade on my skin. This time I'm doing my right arm. I'm coordinated to be left or right handed isn't that cool? I never knew anyone that could do that. I cut deep and dragged it without hesitation. If you hesitate you'll always feel the pain and you don't want to, you want to feel the rush of adrenaline. The blood soon started to flow down my skin and to the floor. It was a relief. I felt so nervous this whole time and I now I don't.  
  
When the nervousness went away the blood stopped flowing out. I sighed I wanted to feel more. So I reopened the cut and saw the blood flow out again.  
  
There was a knock on my door. Shoot! I put the razor in my drawer and hid my bleeding cut behind my back covering it with the sleeve. "Ryou?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You want something to eat? I cooked something." Bakura asked from the other side of the door.  
  
"Ah no it's okay. I'm still full from my brunch. Thanks anyway." I said.  
  
"Alright." He said. I heard his footsteps go down the stairs. I sighed in relief. I sat back down on my bed and took out the razor. The blood stopped bleeding again. How can I make it last anyways? I can't cut deeper than this but still it should be enough to bleed long enough until I slowly fall asleep.  
  
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Kinshin: You people are wonderful! Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate them!  
  
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	4. Part 4: Hidden Secrets

Dark Crimson Rivers 

Part 4: Hidden Secrets

Yugi's POV

I've been over at Ryou's house, these past few days. I have to admit it was fun not cutting alone but I find it fun alone much better. We sometimes drown ourselves in the ecstasy of cutting and never knew that we fell asleep. He's only been over once. I'm amazed that Grandpa remembered him instead of his own grandson! I hated him for a while but it didn't last long because I blamed myself that Grandpa doesn't notice me. It was my fault not his, not his.

But he's really a good friend. I could trust him with my secrets and vice-versa.

But I hate being alone here. Maybe that's why we both crave company but yet we push company away like they're not welcome. Well from what they have done they aren't welcome at all.

I'm surprised though. Yami confronted me asking where I was because he didn't see me around the others. I told him I was at home, in my room, DROWNING IN SELF PITY! Just kidding! I never told him that, instead I just said 'around'. Of course I was around whether it was getting beaten up by bullies or over at Ryou's house. So I'm not lying. No one can blame me for lying. He never asked me what I was doing he asked where. So it pays off to pay attention to everyone's saying because they could always trick you into saying what they want to hear. I don't fall for it.

After that I avoided Yami the rest of the time. I was always out of the house walking around where he would never look and come back when he was already asleep. I had a key besides I don't have a curfew. Grandpa doesn't notice me sleeping or anything anymore.

Wouldn't I be in a foster home now? Look at the facts: I'm being neglected, I'm not being cared for, and I have to fend for myself. I'm only sixteen for god's sake! I'm not supposed to be like that yet until I'm eighteen. Everyone gets unnoticed until they're eighteen. Parents are always happy to get rid of their child when they're at that age. They won't deal with anything anymore. They'll be free from whatever they'll be free from.

So what's the point of living when your own parents in their deepest hearts don't like you? On the outside they really care for you yet when something comes along they don't want you. You will know whenever you fight with your parents verbally, if you threaten yourself then they'll say 'Go ahead'. And they said that they'd always love you no matter what. Isn't that ironic?

It doesn't matter anyways no one will know because everyone likes to feel a safe haven with their families. I don't think that it's a bad thing but it's okay. My parents left way to early before I could feel that safe haven like everyone else. But one thing, parents only want to look good in society's eyes and what you do and how you dress reflects their show of how well they take care of you. No time to be dwelling on this now because I'm sleepy.

* * *

I wake up again to a worthless life that hates me and can't wait but torture me some more. I wish reality would actually take me away but I never cut deep enough. Oh well. It's Saturday. End of the school week and this particular Saturday means end of the school year. Now I could stay home all I want and self-mutilate. No one would know. Yami would be out with his 'friends' and Grandpa would be too busy with the shop. Everything is always fit now that schools out. I won't have to suffer looking at Yami and his 'friends' and I can cut myself without getting noticed.

I glanced at the clock to see that it was 12:00 in the afternoon. That's good I slept long enough especially with all that noise down there. Yami doesn't know how to keep it silent there, especially up here near my room. I think I'm going to be sick. Anzu was actually making out with Yami. Wasn't she going out with Bakura? I swear that girl is a bitch harpy. (Kinshin: I do not particularly hate her and stuff so don't take it too seriously. Back to the fic.) Here shrieking is very loud and those annoying friendship speeches of hers? Where does she get that when I'm left in the Goddamn dust? Sometimes I plot ways to kill her. I think I should write a list so when I'm able to live on my own I could kill her.

Be an assassin! That's so cool. I get to get large amounts of money and be able to kill anyone without hesitation. Heh. That's a good one. I used to not be able to handle my stomach at the sight of death but now I don't feel afraid of it anymore.

I better get dressed maybe I could meet Ryou somewhere and we could do our daily ritual. No one would call it a ritual but it seems like one. Nah, it's the first day of summer break so I better enjoy it before I drown in depression again. I think I already have but no one has the right to take that away from me by telling me got it?

Good.

I listened to the gossip downstairs. Hmm so Yami's friends are here. Fine then I'll just ignore them; it's so easy because I say it is. Besides they won't notice me in there.

I walked down and heard them in the kitchen. I walked in and they looked at me for a brief moment then went back to what they were saying. Unfortunately for me Anzu was speaking. I feel like ripping out her voice box right now. Not that it wouldn't be a good idea, at least I didn't kill her, yet. She and Bakura weren't together anymore. I was surprised at that. Last time I checked Bakura hated anything to do with friendship. I think that Ryou changed him but now Ryou is probably left behind and is now alone. See what friendship can do? That's why it's better to be left alone.

I got out of the kitchen and went back to my room. Just seeing them down there I wanted to kill them all. But instead I result into punishing myself. It relieves my nervousness. I got out my razor and made a cut on my arm. I'm not coordinated like Ryou where he could use two hands but I can manage. In my right arm the cuts are sloppy and crooked while the left arm my cuts are perfect straight lines. They aren't really straight lines but they work.

I felt the regular rush of adrenaline. I think I might fall to sleep again. After the blood stops flowing out of my body then I will stop and go around town looking for something to do.

As soon as I saw that my blood stopped flowing I couldn't resist and reopened the cut. Then I heard the door open and three people fell to the floor. They were Jou, Honda, and Serenity. I quickly covered my arm with my long sleeves and hid the razor in the sleeve and putting my arm behind my back. They all looked at me. I just stared back in fake confusion. They just hastily got up and left shutting the door. They got the wrong room or Yami told them the wrong room. I choose the latter. Yami even doesn't notice me around anymore. At least he's respecting the fact that I want to be alone.

I look at the cut and waited for it to stop bleeding. I'll just fall asleep again. No, I'll go out of town for a while and come back late taking the midnight train. That is how I'll spend my day. I got out the money I saved with my job that I got. No one knows, except Ryou because I told him, and I never told anyone. My grandpa wouldn't care.

I put my razor away and cleaned up. If he found anything I would've made my secret known and I have nothing to keep inside anymore. Then I'll have to find something that I can keep to myself. Oh I know! If he actually does find out then I could just cut somewhere else instead of my arm. I've already started on other places and I know that I'll never run out of spaces. See then he wouldn't have to know. He'll notice that I'm getting worse and that'll be it. He'll think that it's the anti-depressants making me like that and I'll be off those things and out of the psychologist in about 6 months I think.

HAH! I wish.

I think I really need one. My mind is in turmoil, suffering thoughts that are unwanted. I think if I entered my soul room it'll look pitch black with blood specks all over the walls. Is that what's Yami feeling right now? Is he feeling sadness, pain, and death? I don't know how you can feel death but I do. If you're on the brink of dying then you'll feel death for a while until someone saves you because they are selfish BASTARDS that they probably can't live without you and don't want to feel ALONE!

Eh…sorry about that I guess I lost a little bit of control. But I don't think I did because I don't remember what I said. I'm sure that I'll be fine back to my depressed self tomorrow. Not like I'm not already depressed but…it's nothing.

I guess I should leave now. Yami might want to bug me with twenty questions again today.

I quickly headed out the door after successfully covering my cuts. I'm a master at that. When you've been doing it for a while then it'll be easy as pie. But Yami might suspect something if he always sees me wearing long sleeves. I overheard one of his and Bakura's little talks. They were mostly about Ryou and I. It's kinda funny at what they were saying about us about how we've somehow drifted apart from them and how we've also become distant from the others also.

Well the others can go KISS MY ASS!

They're nothing but a bunch of selfish pigs that would do anything what they want when they want, especially the friendship bitch. It's her fault that I'm suffering like this. She said that friends should always stay together. I gagged at that. I didn't like those speeches.

Maybe I should start plotting her murder. Ryou, I'm sure, would like to join me.

After walking around this forsaken town for like about five hours I walked over to Ryou's house to see if he's available to plot the friendship bitch's death. Yeah that would be good!

"Ryou you there?" I asked knocking on the door.

"Hold on!" I heard coming from inside.

Ryou opened the door. I entered.

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	5. Part 5: Lost and Found

Dark Crimson Rivers 

Kinshin: I'm very sorry I took so long to update this. I had the material ready but I keep forgetting to update! 

Response to Reviewers:

**AngelofWariness: **I've updated! I think I took too long. But anyways, thanks for reviewing!

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Part 5: Lost and Found

Ryou's POV

It was fun yesterday with Yugi. I did have fun going over made up plans to kill Anzu. Actually I was quite considering the idea to be carried out. I didn't think that Yugi had it in him to think of something like that. Well then again with what's been happening I shouldn't be surprised. I mean he's changed and everything right?

I was lucky that that wasn't Bakura at the door. Otherwise he would've discovered my secret, which isn't supposed to happen. So now today I'm doing my best to avoid him and anyone that he invites. I doubt that he will. I think that he's so hung up over Anzu breaking up with him. If I were him I would've just said fine and then kill her, but the thing is…I'm not him. Well in a way I kinda am so that doesn't count.

I wonder what would he be thinking if he found out I had a suicidal mind. Would he actually be happy so he wouldn't have to feel pain? You know he confronted me yesterday shortly after Yugi left. He visited my soul room, which by the way is suppose to be locked, how he got it open is lost to me, but he said that he saw that it was all black. He said that it tells the person's soul of whoever it is.

Well the thing is, that that my soul room has always been like that. Hasn't he pain attention when he was actually hurting me because he can't handle his own problems? I guess not when I actually talked back and said that it has always been like that. My soul has been lost ever since I got the ring so it didn't matter. I didn't bother finding it again because what's the use? You're just going to lose it again anyways. I think it has been wondering around looking for me, the vessel, but can't because I've hidden myself well and it can't see me. Yes that's right.

I'm happy that I'm half way dead. Then when I'm actually dead I won't have to feel anything anymore.

I glanced at the clock. It read 11:00 AM. Can you believe that time is a bomb? When you least expect it, BOOM! You're already dead. You won't have time to do anything because you don't know. Unless of course you're dying of old age and already transmitted disease then the doctors tell you when you're going to die so you have a wee bit of time to do something.

I feel like cutting myself. I know that I have 50/50 chance right here but it's okay at least I'm expecting to die. I didn't know the door of death could be so heavy. I got out my razor and made a cut on my left arm this time. It seemed more appropriate there. I heard the door slam and another door close and then the shower was running. Seems like Bakura just woke up. I better put this away before he comes in here after he showers. But now I'm just going to enjoy it for a little while.

After he was finished I heard the door close and I quickly put away the razor, cleaned up the bloodstains that I accidentally made, and then covered up my arms with wearing long sleeves. I just lay there on my bed looking at the ceiling. I find it interesting looking up at the ceiling. I can imagine pictures like in one of those children's books.

I soon fell asleep just imagining things up in the ceiling.

Bakura's POV

I sighed as I took a look at Ryou's sleeping form. Every time I always see him asleep. I don't know what he does on his own time. But I did notice that he's drifting apart from the others.

There was something interesting that I found in his drawer though. It was a razor. I wonder what he keeps it for. I know that I don't use it because it's somewhat tempting but not that much. I was still pissed at Anzu for actually trashing the living room making Ryou clean it up, well not all of it but most of it. She could've taken it over at her own house but considering how lazy that bitch is she can't do anything smart.

I saw that Ryou turned to face my direction. I sighed in relief because I don't want him to see me here and jumping to conclusions that I'm going to start hurting him again because I'm holding his razor blade. He was still asleep. A part of his sleeve rolled up. I was curious why he still wore long sleeves. Isn't it the summer?

As he moved his arm a few more inches of his sleeve rolled up. I stared ridiculously. I didn't know how to react. A part of me wanted to wake him up and beat him until he bleeds but another part of me just wanted to scream 'Why'.

I opted for the former.

I shook him awake. Apparently he's a deep sleeper because usually he would wake up with the slightest touch. But with what I think he's been doing for the past year I would've expected him to be still asleep. I shook him harder.

I saw him flutter his eyes open.

"Bakura?" he said in question. He wouldn't expect me to be here so I guess that would be why.

"Hn, bout time you woke up," I responded.

"Really? What time is it?" he asked.

"It's afternoon. I don't know the time."

"Oh really? I didn't know that I slept that long."

"Yes, well can you help me with a problem?" I asked.

"Um…sure I guess. What kind of problem is it?"

"Sit up and I'll tell you."

Ryou sat up like I said. He looked at me with confusion. That is what I expected. I kept silent for a while, thinking what I'm going to say to him. No ideas came up, the light bulb never clicked.

"Bakura what is it?"

"Sorry," I said, "But can I ask why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?" he asked I can tell in fake cluelessness.

My temper is starting to get the best of me. "Dammit! Don't play stupid with me! You know exactly what I'm talking about!" I grabbed his arm and rolled up his sleeve.

His eyes widened in surprise.

"They were accidents," he said as an excuse.

HAH! Accidents my ass!

"Accidents? From where, the road?" I said sarcastically.

"No from cooking. I was chopping some ingredients and wasn't paying attention."

"Really? Well then I guess that it's no coincidence that I found a razor blade in one of your drawers." I said waving it out in front of him.

He quickly made a grab for it but I'm faster. "Reconsidering your answer?"

"No," he said firmly still trying to get the razor from me the best he can with his one free hand. After awhile he got tired of trying to get it and just stood still, catching his breath.

"You ready to tell what has been going on the past year that I should know about?"

"There was nothing going on that you should know about."

Stubborn.

"Fine let me put them in simple words so your brain can understand it. Why have you been damaging your body?!" I said harshly.

"None of your business!" He equally yelled back.

"Considering the circumstance of being your yami it is my business!"

"Well then don't make it your business!"

"With your emotions I'm feeling I can't make it not my business!"

"Fine then I won't tell you anything and my excuse was true because they were accidents!"

"ACCIDENTS MY ASS!" I yelled even louder than our little verbal yells.

"Yes accidents happen because of your ass! If only you didn't date that bitch I wouldn't have to run to the furniture shop and be paying for the mess that she made!"

Wait a minute, he said ass and bitch. Okay that's a surprise. I stared in shock for a second before regaining my composure. I smacked him on the face. I don't know where that reaction came from but I guess it would actually make him come to his senses because he is really out of character.

It was silent for a minute. Then I felt a smack on my face. The impact made me release my grip on Ryou. I rubbed my cheek. I know that hit wasn't going to put a bruise on my face but it did hurt a little. Didn't know he had it him. He's really surprised me these past few moments.

I never one to back down from a challenge punched him, sending him on the floor. Of course after he stood up he came after me sending me a punch but it didn't reach me. I blocked it and held my own. For someone who couldn't stand up to do this he's pretty strong. I pushed him backwards and pinned him to the floor. I straddled his waist so he wouldn't make any further movements of his own down there. I don't want to get kneed on the balls.

I wonder how it ended up like this. I don't know why I would actually strike him. Was it because I didn't know what else to do? I need to come up with better ways to handle things besides violence.

He still continued to struggle. I still held him down. I was really getting annoyed. "Don't even thing of doing anything because you're not getting out of this until you tell me the truth," I said.

"Why should I?" he said back.

"Because I care!"

He stopped his struggles that made my job easier. But before I could completely get up off him he retorted back.

"LIAR!"

ARGH! How dare he call me a liar!

"Your calling me a liar?! What about you?! I think that you've just lied to me this past year!"

"So?! Is it wrong?! I know that you're lying right now because you just started to notice a few things?! About how I drifted away, how I don't say anything that much anymore?! You're the one who's really lying! I, at least, had—"

I placed my lips over his to silence him. He's spoken enough and it was annoying. I heard him gasp and took this opportunity to slide my tongue in his mouth, exploring it. He didn't respond for a while but joined in. He tasted sweet, much better than that bitch. I stopped it so he could breathe. "Do you think I'm lying now?" I whispered in his ear. Then I started trailing soft kisses down to his white, milky soft throat.

"Yes," he said breathless. I heard his panting and somewhat not resisting. I can tell that he's lying. He knows that I'm not lying and I know for a fact that he's enjoying this too.

"Now who's the one lying?" I said using my free hand, unbuttoning his shirt. There were plenty of buttons so I just ripped it off. I heard him gasp and I stared at his chest. There were a few cuts I can tell was created by him. That didn't matter now because I know that he won't be doing stupid things again and they could be healed easily.

I made my own assault on his chest. I licked the cuts, tasting the small ticks of blood. I heard moans coming from him and they were music to my ears. I couldn't wait for that beautiful voice to cry my name out in ecstasy knowing I'm the one giving it to him.

I had no idea what I was doing. I think I'm still upset about what that bitch did to me. I then thought about it. No she didn't do anything. I actually wasn't happy with her. I guess that I've just been denying my feelings for my hikari. Yes this is where my heart truly lies.

I stopped my train of thought and just followed where that path of lust has led me. No use turning back now.

I picked him off the floor and put his half naked body on the bed unceremoniously. I quickly pounced on him before he could say anything coherent for the night.

End

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	6. Part 6: A New Life

Dark Crimson Rivers 

Part 6: A New Life

Yugi's POV

I sighed as I sit to another day of a long ways away of summer break. I doubt that it's been fun. I never looked forward to it this year. Unlike the other years where I was happy that summer break was here. Not anymore. Forget it. My grandpa went on another dig. I heard Yami mumble it when he read his note so I don't know where and that's the only information I got.

Yami came and talked to me yesterday. I quickly ended the conversation by giving excuses like 'I'm busy'. It was a powerful excuse. He left and didn't pry into my business. At least he's not as blunt as Bakura. I talked to Ryou a few days ago after him and Bakura hooked up. He told me the little story how but he didn't go into too much detail if you catch my drift. He told me how Bakura found out what he has been doing the whole year while he was out of watchful eyes.

I became very careful nowadays. I only cut myself when Yami was out of the house, which was quite rare because I think he's been trying to get answers out of me. I don't really mind I like games. Might as well play this one.

I'm kinda jealous of Ryou. I wish I had a relationship like that with Yami but I don't know. I had those feelings for a while I think I had them for a long time and was just blind. But then again I'm always probably last on the list of choices. Like what Anzu said. Oh well I hope that bitch could go into deeper hell soon that way when I make my way down there and torment her for the rest of her life. Hmm…that doesn't sound too bad.

I think I'll have a goal now to do when I'm dead. Doesn't that seem promising? I don't think so. If that friendship rat goes to heaven I'm so going to be laughing. Why? Because she doesn't deserve to go there! Why would people believe in heaven and hell? People just probably don't want to believe that they're going to die later on and just believing that they'll be in paradise. Why don't they just kill themselves if they want to live in paradise? They can't. There is always someone who will be lonely when their life dies off, their reason to live.

Its okay I think with the recent event of Ryou and Bakura being together is slowly changing my mind. I am happy for them. But I still can't believe that Bakura actually dated Anzu. What the hell was he thinking? I don't want to know how his mind works.

I guess that I'll just beat it now. It's way past bedtime! HAH! I used to remember that little joke at the beginning of the year. Just because I look like a little kid doesn't mean anything to me. I should just go to sleep. Yeah sleep sounds good.

* * *

Another day, another worthless day.

ARGH! This is all BULLSHIT!

Calm down, it's all just the way it was suppose to be, the way it's suppose to be.

Okay I'm still a bit jealous of Ryou. At least he's happy with his life now.

Oooh forget it. I think I'll just walk around town and if I somehow end up in some trouble I'll walk back home as if nothing ever happened. Even if I have a broken leg, a bleeding wound, and something I'll still manage to get back here and take care of it myself.

I walk straight out the door. Surprisingly I got out without Yami questioning me. I wonder where he was. Heh, probably out somewhere with some of his friends it is about the time he always goes out. It is afternoon.

I wonder should I head to the mall or something. Nah they're probably going to be there because the annoying harpy (Anzu in case anyone doesn't know) likes to go there. Maybe just 'around' would be the best option.

I wandered around the whole damn town, I think. How come I'm not tired? Oh well I guess I'll just go back home; there's nothing else to do here anyways.

I walked back to see that it's still empty as I left it. Guess no one likes to buy stuff no more. I think…I keep thinking. I don't know why.

I should stop it piles more stuff on my head. It's really strenuous. One time I was thinking too much and I was too tired to walk at all and I was only sitting down, can you believe that? No, just don't.

I plopped down on my bed. I wanted to so badly go to sleep. I just kept staring at the ceiling until I soon fell into the land of dreams.

Yami's POV

I sighed. (Kinshin: I think they sigh too much but anyways back to the fic.) I wish that Yugi would just talk to me. I'm his other half, his friend. Friends tell each other their problems if they have any, right?

He probably won't tell me. I've noticed that he's been more withdrawn from everyone including me. I tried asking him yesterday but he said he was busy. Somehow I didn't believe him. My instincts were proven true because when I went out with the others earlier I spotted him walking around just doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I felt a bit of sadness and longing lingering at the back of my mind earlier. I thought that they were just my imagination. That is I thought it was when I came home it intensified but then after a few minutes it died down. I knew that it wasn't mine; they were my hikari's. I didn't look into it because it just seemed like a small thing. Just something that would do temporarily. But then I felt them more frequently at times then it would just disappear like it never came at all.

Every time I asked Yugi what was wrong he would always dodge the question or say he's busy. I don't believe any of it. I did notice something wrong but Yugi wouldn't even let me near him or even see him. I rarely saw him the whole year. He never contacted the others when I asked and they also said that they never saw Yugi at all the whole year.

I can't believe that I didn't notice him gone for the year. I always thought he was there but just silent because it was just a one thing wrong. But I don't think that is the real reason. I noticed that he seems thinner than before and looks a little sick. Not that he's thin like before but like he doesn't eat at all. But I see him eat at least something that can be considered a full meal.

I asked Bakura how that hell he got through to Ryou. I was a little bit shocked and horrified that he gave me it in descriptive detail and I really didn't need to know all that. I'm glad that I stopped him before he got very far with what happened. I asked Ryou what Yugi was doing the whole time because I knew that the two spent some time together doing something. Ryou just kept it secret. He didn't tell me anything except the fact that Yugi and him just hung out together. He said that they were just desperate for company and they just did things together that friends usually did. They mentioned each other's problems and secrets that they kept from everyone else. After that I didn't get anything else.

I went into my room. Yes I had my own room because I was able to get my own body so I have a room. I steered to the bed and lied down on it. I didn't know what to do anymore to get Yugi to open up and tell me what's wrong. I guess I'll just confront him tomorrow, it's late and I'm sleepy.

Yugi's POV

I woke up early the next day. Something forced me to get up early I think. I don't usually wake up at 9:00 in the morning but I guess I'll make an exception since I can't go back to sleep. Stupid sunlight. I thought I closed the curtains last night. Maybe I didn't and just forgot to. Me and my forgetfulness. Time to get up and go through another day of boringness. I don't particularly like to wander around to nowhere but I can't go to Ryou's house because he could still be sleeping or spending time with Bakura. The others are all assholes and Yami…I can't ask him anything. He might catch the wrong message and think I might tell him something that I've been keeping from him. I should probably go job hunting. Nah…they think I'm still a kid and might think I can't hold my own, stupid unopened minded people. (Kinshin: No offense to anyone that is unopened minded. Everyone is cool in my book.)

I should just probably stay home. I walked into the kitchen to see nothing in the fridge except some leftovers. I think that it's been there for about a week. No way am I eating that. Maybe I should go get some donuts and just avoid any asshole bullies that managed to get dumped or is bored and staying the whole summer because they failed in most of their classes and not attending summer school. Shows where they'll be ending up.

I walked out and locked the door so Yami won't know that I went out or he might come after me, or something. He did that once and found me beaten up walking back. I don't want that to happen so I locked the door to my room and the exit. I pocketed my key and left on my safe, I hope, way to the donut shop.

Yami's POV

I saw that the house was quiet and that Yugi must still be asleep with the door locked and the front still locked. It doesn't look like anyone has been in here. As I was walking up the stairs I heard a loud crash come from the kitchen. And soon other small sounding crashes followed. There was a faint thud there. Funny I didn't see anyone come through the front door. I quickly rushed down the stairs and saw Yugi sprawled out on the floor with some broken dishes and pots that were around him.

I rushed to his side and helped him into a sitting position. I gasp as I saw some blood spilt on his shirt and a bleeding head wound.

"Yugi what happened?" I asked.

Yugi just looked at me and smiled. "Hi Yami, nothing happened why do you ask?"

I stared at him in disbelief. Doesn't he notice that he has at least a head wound or…I looked at my hand that was on his side holding him up that was starting to get wet and I saw blood leaking out.

I picked him up and carried him all the way to the bathroom upstairs. I pulled out the first aid kit and was about to take of his sweater but he stopped me. "What are you doing?" Yugi asked.

"I'm going to patch up that wound on your side," I answered attempting to take the jacket off again. He pulled back.

"Don't touch me, I could do it myself."

"Then what was that that I saw in the kitchen?"

"I tripped. I was just trying to get something and was looking through there."

"Next time you can't reach just ask me okay? I'm here."

"But I thought you were asleep."

I stared. He's always so thoughtful. But he shouldn't always think like that.

"Yugi, you could always ask me, I won't be mad or anything. Now let me bandage that wound of yours before you die of blood loss." I hope I got through to him this time.

"It's okay Yami, I don't need help. I could do it myself. If you're hungry there are some donuts that I picked up earlier."

I sighed and decided to let him. "Alright, I'll wait for you downstairs. Just be careful okay?" I got a nod and I left him to himself. I leaned against the closed bathroom door. A lot of questions run through my mind. I don't know what to do, how to get him to open up. He keeps to himself and I can't find a way to get through. I wish he would just tell me.

I propped myself up and went downstairs to eat some of those donuts that Yugi got.

Yugi's POV

I took off my sweater and then began cleaning up my stab wound. Yami doesn't know what happened and he doesn't need to. It's my business not his. I then bandaged it up. I also cleaned that little head wound when I was flung into the street on purpose. Someone bumped into me and I almost got ran over by a car. I thought I saw Anzu there. It was probably her. I think she has something against Ryou and me. I don't know what her problem is but I think she needs to chill and find some goddamn money to get to America soon. Then she could be as much as a bitch as she can.

After I changed my clothes to cover up everything I went back downstairs in the kitchen. I just hope that Yami didn't finish all the glazed donuts. I saw Yami sitting down on a chair eating one. I wonder how much he ate the whole time I was patching myself up.

I took a look in the box and saw only one of them gone. That's good. At least he isn't a pig like Jounouchi. I swear eating with him, when he talks with his mouthful some of the food comes out. Yuck.

I sat down on the other chair and grabbed a donut, which ended up as a hard task because I was on the other side and couldn't reach it. I was able to grab it and started munching on one. I said nothing. I'm surprised that Yami isn't asking anything. That's good. I don't feel like answering anything right now.

It was silent. I couldn't stand it, especially with Yami. I can stand someone else, a complete stranger but not anyone I know.

"So, are you going to ask?" I said.

"Ask what?" he answered.

"About what happened? Why I have this injury? Why I've been away from everyone?"

"Oh. I thought you wanted your privacy kept, so I didn't bother asking."

I stare in shock then regained my composure. I took another small bite of my donut. I had my head down and we went back into one of those uncomfortable silences that I so despise.

"What did happen? Who did that? Did Bakura do that to take the puzzle again?" he asked with a bit of a shout in his voice at the last question he asked.

"No, no, no," I said frantically, "He's not doing anything of that sort."

"That's good."

I didn't say anything else. I kept silent. I heard him stand up and I felt him standing in front of me. He kneeled down and looked at my face. He clutched my hands. "Yugi what's wrong?" he asked.

I just didn't answer and turned my head to stare at the floor. I still couldn't say anything. Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut? Oh yeah because I forgot to look at the other possibilities of what might happen. It's like I'm telling him what I've been doing. I can't have any of that now can I? Right? I don't need help, I'm fine just the way what I've been doing now. I'll just stop and go back to the way it was before I did anything to myself. I'll be alone; get beaten up anytime I'm available.

"Don't think like that!" I heard Yami yell out. Damn, I let my thoughts slip. Doesn't he know privacy? I shut my eyes tight. I hated it when someone yelled at me like that. I wanted to run and bolt out of here but I couldn't because Yami was in front of me.

"Yugi look at me." he said but I didn't listen. I felt something cool grab my face gently and turned it towards Yami's direction. I shut my eyes trying not to look at him. I'm afraid that if I look into his eyes then he would see everything, things that I don't want him to. "Yugi please look at me." He begged. I slowly opened my eyes. Yami smiled. "That's better." I just stared.

"Yugi, are you ready to tell me what's wrong? You know that you can talk to me." I didn't answer anything except just stared. Yami sighed. "Yugi I can't help you if you don't tell me if something is wrong."

Oh no did I make him angry? Should I answer? I don't want to but I'm afraid that he'll get mad at me. I didn't know what to do. He sat down on the floor bringing me with him. I just let him. I had no intention to move away I felt contented somehow. I wish I could stay like this forever. I know I have a choice if I wanted it forever but I don't know.

Yami's POV

I waited for an answer from Yugi. But he still kept silent. I didn't know what else to do. I'm at lost and I'm usually the one with the solutions and I don't have any. I listened in to his thoughts in case he slips some of them. I know that it's rude but I don't know what else to do. After a while I stopped listening because I couldn't get anything.

Then I remembered what Bakura caught Ryou doing. He said the Yugi must've been doing the same thing but Ryou didn't tell him. Ryou didn't tell anyone what was Yugi's problem. I noticed that during the time they were together and until now Ryou didn't go with Bakura at an outing. Ryou didn't want to probably face the others and I don't think that Yugi would too.

I looked at him and he seemed out of it, into his own little world. So I decided to check if Bakura's theory was right. I carefully rolled up the long sleeves. Before I was able to see something Yugi pulled it back and ran to the other side near the door. He rolled down the sleeve and looked relieved for a moment.

"Yugi…" I called out walking towards him slowly.

Yugi just shook his head and ran upstairs. I ran after him. I almost reached him but he slammed his door and locked it.

I banged on the door frantically. I yelled for him to open up but he wouldn't. "YUGI, OPEN UP OR I SWEAR I'LL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!" I yelled.

"Go ahead! I'm sure grandpa would love to yell at me for the replacement of a new door!" he equally yelled back.

After I registered his words, I stared in shock. Did he really think his grandpa would blame him for it? Now that I think about it, I don't think that grandpa actually acknowledged Yugi at all. Realization hit me. This was how Yugi felt? Loneliness because no one even talked to him? Oh no.

"YUGI!" I yelled again banging on the door until the door actually busted open. Who cares about replacement?

I gasp as I saw the sight before me. I quickly rushed over to Yugi's unconscious form. I got a piece of cloth, since it was the closest to me, and tied it tightly around his bleeding wrist to stop the blood from escaping but it just got redder. So I tore another piece off and put it over.

I grabbed the phone and dialed the emergency number.

I waited in the waiting room until they were finished. The doctor approached me. "Is he alright?" I asked a bit scared that he isn't.

"Do not worry sir he is fine. Do you wish to see him now, he's awake." The doctor said.

I nodded and followed where he led me to him.

The doctor left us. Yugi was facing away from me. Me, I didn't know what to say or do. So I just walked over to his side. "Yugi?" I asked softly. Yugi didn't answer anything. I sighed and tried again. "Yugi, please, talk to me."

"You know a lot there's nothing to talk about so why don't you just leave," he said, firmly. But I wasn't going to give up on him yet.

"No," I flatly said.

Normal POV

"Fine then stay." Yugi pulled the blanket over his head in an attempt to make him run out of oxygen to die and depart from this callous world. He hated living already he just couldn't figure out why Yami couldn't see that. He was thinking that Yami would actually disappear without him here but then realized Yami could live his life and replace him since they are sort of the same.

"Yugi…" Yami said pulling the blanket so that Yugi's face appeared from under the sheets.

"You're still not finished? What is it?" Yugi said bitterly.

Yami sighed. "I'm sorry."

Yugi just kept silent for a few shocked moments of his life. "Sorry for what? You didn't do this. Shouldn't you be celebrating? I could've been dead but yet you kept me here to let this uncaring world torture me some more. Why didn't you just leave me there?" Yugi said facing the yami.

He saw emotions pass through his other's eyes. There was all the same as he thought of as lies. To him all those caring emotions were just fronts so that way he would believe him.

"Because I care." Yami stated firmly.

"Really? Caring is so overlooked. It's just a word. Like they say actions speak louder than words your actions do speak louder than your words. There's nothing you can do." Yugi glared and then turned his back to Yami.

"No your attitude speaks louder than your words. You say all of this and yet you do the same thing. If you wanted to die why didn't you do it before with those other self inflicted wounds you made? To scared to let go?" Yami spoke with sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Hmm maybe I was. But I don't know, I think I just thought that I didn't cut too deep enough. The fat was in the way." Yugi answered back with the same intense sarcasm.

"Lame excuse."

"Well then if that is a lame excuse that what's your excuse for keeping me alive? Because you'll die if I die?"

"No, that isn't why. You, for one, are not me so you wouldn't understand." Yami said making Yugi face his direction.

"You're right I'm not you, now you get my point. Are you finished yet becua—"

Yami kissed him and cut him off in mid sentence.

Yugi resisted by trying to push Yami off but he was as weak as is and soon submitted to it. He was actually enjoying it. That lasted for a few minutes until a noise interrupted them. Yami didn't have to turn around to know who it was. He grumbled something under his breath that solely sounded something like 'tomb robbers always ruin the moments'. Yugi laughed silently. Standing by the door was none other than Ryou and Bakura.

Ryou walked over to Yugi's side and avoided the mess on the floor, which consisted of both yamis wrestling each other. "Hey Yugi how's it going?" Ryou asked smiling.

"Aren't you overjoyed, what's the occasion?" Yugi answered with a question.

"Well I'm glad to be out of that hospital room since I accidentally tried to do it again. What about you?"

"None whatsoever. I think I feel better now. Maybe when life gets too hard for me then I probably will try again."

"Yeah you're right I was going to do the same thing."

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Both yamis yelled at the same time. Ryou and Yugi just laughed. "We're just kidding." They both said at the same time.

Bakura grabbed Ryou and dragged him towards the exit. Ryou gave a quick wave good-bye. "C'mon Ryou, I think hanging out with the pharaoh's hikari is making you suicidal," he said before they left. There sounded a little fight through the halls but that's not important.

Yami turned his direction to Yugi. Yugi was staring at his lap. He had an emotionless expression on his face. "So what was that?" Yugi asked finally after a minute of silence.

"What?"

"What you did. Was that a one time thing to make me feel all better or something?"

"No."

"Then what is it?"

"I care about you. In fact…" he paused for a minute, "Aishiteru."

He of course couldn't believe any of it until Yami went over and kissed him. That was then he knew that he was telling the truth no matter how much he denied it.

Owari

Kinshin: There's both of their endings! I hope you like them. Thank You Everyone!

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